lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
