youre lurking in front of me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
