dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
