hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
