I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
