if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
