I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my sisters under your porch take her home
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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