is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
