this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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