the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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