Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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