I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
