Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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