Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
