Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
