I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so let's talk penis.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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