I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
