Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
