I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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