i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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