...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
