I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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