Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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