he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
