I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
