Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
