NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
