What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
