Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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