what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
