You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
