what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
