I think my fart just growled at me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
