Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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