dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
