These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
