Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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