He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
