ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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