Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
