oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
