i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
