No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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