Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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