I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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