No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am one with the molecules
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
