I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There r osticjed everywhere
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
