My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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