Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
