I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
